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John is clueless words.
Seventeen feet of sunshine.
1. Cheddar Cheese flavored Maruchan Ramen-in-a-cup is possibly the single foulest thing I've eaten in years. The Spicy Chicken, however, is delicious.

2. It's easier to look busy than to actually find something to do. These last few months at work have been so slow, I've taken up meditating.

3. Avoiding problems until they go away is not usually the best solution. That said, sometimes they do actually go away, and when they do, it IS a good solution.

4. Ivory snails do not take kindly to a 300GPH suction pump. My poor snail got trapped on the intake port of my new aquarium powerhead. He went for what he thought was a delicious meal of dead leaves and plant bits, but he couldn't get off. His foot and tentacles got sucked through the grate. By the time I found him, he was half dead, with large chunks of flesh literally ripped off of him. He spent 48 hours in an emergency tank. He's perked up a little now, and I'm pretty sure that snails regenerate, but he's definitely a shell of his former self.

And a relatively recent picture:

Current Mood: chipper chipper

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It's been a while.

The door creaks as I ease it open. There's a cobweb hanging from the corner of the door. There's not really much dust, I expected there to be more.

Something smells funny.

I think there may be a few dishes with food still stuck to them, lying somewhere around the place. It's OK. They're covered in mold.

So. I'm firing up the metaphorical engine, and there's not much coming out, other than the cloud of smoke and small chunks of what looks a lot like beef jerky.

It's peppered.

You thought I'd say teryiaki. Admit it.

I'm not good at juggling. I can do it, but only for very short periods of time, and only with three equal and soft objects. It comes in handy when I'm trying to distract people from their own insecurities.

Meme wrangling is not a lucrative business.

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Current Location: Sunspot Shelter
Current Mood: quixotic quixotic
Current Music: Tank noise

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The statement "I believe there is no $deity" is very different from "I do not believe in $deity", although it's easy to see why people mix them up. This is usually the point where people start bringing up leprechauns and pink unicorns. Theists often find this insulting, because let's face it, unicorns and leprechauns are silly. Comparing someone's deeply held belief in $deity to a mythical creature is usually quite offensive to the theist involved.

However, the point of those little arguments is not to demean religion, but to be thought experiments on the nature of belief and semantics.

Here's a little thought experiment that I think is a little less condescending. Please bear with me, as I'm making it up as I go along. Also, please get over your sophomoric giggles at the word “box”.

One's religious leanings can be thought of as a box. It's your box; make it out of whatever you like.

$deity is a fabulous treasure, hidden somewhere. Faith or belief is like a map to that treasure.

X does not mark the spotCollapse )
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Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.

-Charles Dickens, "A Christmas Carol"

Peace on Earth.

Drink up, me 'earties.

/Yo ho.
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"But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness. No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but because occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?"

"On the other hand, we denounce with righteous indignation and dislike men who are so beguiled and demoralized by the charms of pleasure of the moment, so blinded by desire, that they cannot foresee the pain and trouble that are bound to ensue; and equal blame belongs to those who fail in their duty through weakness of will, which is the same as saying through shrinking from toil and pain. These cases are perfectly simple and easy to distinguish. In a free hour, when our power of choice is untrammelled and when nothing prevents our being able to do what we like best, every pleasure is to be welcomed and every pain avoided. But in certain circumstances and owing to the claims of duty or the obligations of business it will frequently occur that pleasures have to be repudiated and annoyances accepted. The wise man therefore always holds in these matters to this principle of selection: he rejects pleasures to secure other greater pleasures, or else he endures pains to avoid worse pains."

--Marcus Tullius Cicero

Current Mood: recumbent beturkened.

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"FN! N U?"


The rapid rise of technological messaging in western society is damaging the second best part of our culture. It's a problem that flies under the radars of most people, since most people put their radars on the roof, and text messaging usually happens on the ground.

I'd be the first to admit that I like big words. And I cannot prevaricate. You other brothers can't repudiate...

Moving on.

The advent of instant messaging is a revolution in personal communication. It's amazing to be able to call anyone in the world. Well, anyone with enough money and technological access to buy a cell phone. I don't imagine I could look up !NGUK!KA of the San tribes of the Kalahari desert. I'm sure he's heard of cell phones, he just can't figure out why he'd need one.


I'm already not a fan of cell phones, whether used as artificial memories, personality replacements, excuses, or car-insurance premium raisers.


"Hey. Yeah. It's me. Nothing. At the store. What did you want me to get? Bleach? Blees? What are you saying? Oh, PEAS! Yeah, I couldn't hear you. Peas, right? Frozen? Fresh peas? What does 'fresh frozen' mean? Well I don't think they let them rot before they freeze them. Heh. 'Rot Frozen peas'. Ha ha. OK, Frozen peas. Sorry, 'Fresh frozen'. What else? Cereal? What kind of cereal? ...right ... with the fuzzy guy? ... do you mean Honeycomb? You know, the fuzzy honeycomb guy. With the big eyes? From TV? What do you mean you've never seen him? He steals the kids Honeycomb or something. No, not like the Trix rabbit. No, the kids are stealing the leprechaun's cereal stash. Heh. Yeah, 'They're always after me ...' right. Like in Austin Powers. Heh, now you get that joke. So you want Lucky Charms then? OK. Do we need milk? Milk. For the cereal? Yes. You put it on the Cereal. You're such a spaz. Hang on. Get away from me, creep! Stop following me around the store! Honey, I have to go. Some jerk is following me around the store with a tape recorder. No, I'm going to the security guard."

And so on.

Text messaging is even odder. Our first real attempt at post-keyboard text only messaging, and they base it on forty year old technology.

The interface for text messaging is poorly designed. I don't say this to insult any of the engineers and programmers, and PhDs who designed it. Those guys are smarter than I am, and I'm sure they did the best they could with what they had.

But using 9 digits to input messages based on a twenty-six letter alphabet, plus punctuation, plus grammar, plus coherent sentence structure... well, damn.

Not to mention that instant messaging, gaming, and passing notes at school had already weakenend the language to breaking point. Something had to go.

I like that we kept manners.


Texting can be used for business: "SALE CMPLT. TKNG CLNT 2 STRP CLB"



Or the Military: "TRGT SGHTD. BGN BMBNG RN?" "K LOL"

Or the Aerospace industry: "W LND ON MRS! OMFG! OMFG! MRS! HLY CRP!"

Imagine the uses in the future!


The judicial system: "GOV SYS N PRDN LT HM FRY"

Natural research: "OMG JIM GT 8 BY TGR! CLL US MBSY. YS RLY."

Writing stupid ramblings online: "STFU. GTFO. PK SUX LOL. LSR"



Current Location: Kyrgyzstan
Current Mood: bored bored
Current Music: Valve - Drums and Riffs

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Time flies when you've lost your words. Entire months go by without saying anything. Things that used to seem like polylithic foundations whip away like smoke in the wind.

I'm not going to say I'll post more. I say that every time I pick this little electrick navel-gazer up, but I never do.

I'll just post, and let procrastination ring.

Current Mood: A and-or B mused

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I gots promotified!

Starting May 16, I will be Performance improvment coach/Tech support training facilitator level 1!

basically I'll be teaching all the squalling red-faced new hires how to fix credit card machines.

It gets me a promotion, an hour-long lunch break, and a phat raise.

Not too shabby for a slacker bum.

Of course, I 'll have to dress nicer, and go to work earlier, but it's still a relatively low stress job.

I dig good news.

Current Mood: ecstatic ecstatic

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Greetings, faithful readers!

Always assuming I have faithful readers. I'm pretty sure at this point most readers have given up all hope. I mean, seriously... Faith like that deserves all the miracles I can muster.

So, if you're reading this, I will give you a miracle.

You will find something that you thought lost.

...at some point.

And when you do, you will know yourself rewarded by the Glory that is The PirateKing.


On to things that nobody cares about!

This weekend I woke up at 8 am on sunday morning!

Among many other mildly interesting things!

I cleaned the kitchen.

I posted a LiveJournal TRADEMARCKEN!! entry.
Click or whatever.Collapse )
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What's New?(pops)

5.85 MB WMV

"I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille..."

Current Mood: creative creative
Current Music: What's New, Pussycat? - Tom Jones

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I feel I have been
somewhat lax as regards the
regular posting.

Therefore I will start
to update my live journal
more consistently.

Having stated this,
from now on Monday will be
Entirely Haiku.

Today is also
the beginning of a
four day vacation.

I don't have to work
until this coming Friday.
then two more days off.

I bought a printer.
Konica Color Laser.
Extremely good deal.

Tiger Direct rules.
It's called OMG LAZERS!
and it kicks much ass.

I finally bought the
DVI adapter for
my video card.

It allows me to
run two monitors at once.
I will post pics soon.

What else should I say?
Very little to report.
I don't have a life.

Thus concludes the first
issue of Haiku Monday.
Hope you enjoyed it.

Current Music: Captain Hamptin and the Midget Pirates - The Aquabats

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Allow me to introduce the newest members of of the Pirate Crew:

Mothra and Jet JaguarCollapse )
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I've lost someone close to me.

An old friend of mine passed away early this morning in a tragic accident.

Not really.Collapse )

Current Mood: sad sad
Current Music: O Fortuna (Carmina Burana) - Carl Orff

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Also, I have cats again.

Mothra and Jet JaguarCollapse )
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X-posted on The 'Cave

Current Mood: Fabu
Current Music: Diabolical - Mindless Self Indulgence

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Hi, My name is John Is Clueless Words, and I have a problem.

Warning = mines ahead. read on only if dork.Collapse )

Current Mood: exanimate wait..what?
Current Music: Skip James - She Lyin'

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Fantastic Future

Current Mood: sad sad
Current Music: 403 (Forbidden) - C6H6 (aka HeXaNe)

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Not porn... Cobra Hijinks!

A pink Tiger.

A pinker Git.

A petri King

Knit a gripe.

I ping Trek.

I get prank.

Current Mood: weird weird
Current Music: Moby - That's When I Reach For My Revolver

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If you guessed lesbians, you're right!

If you guessed "the semantic and somatic implications of linguistic development as basal psychometric conciousness structures in memetic and cultural evolution", get out of my head.

I"m a ramblin" manCollapse )
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Raise your hand if you have a cell-phone.

If you raised your hand, then I'm sorry.

I had a cellphone. I carried it everywhere.

But one day....

I either lost it, or decided that there wasn't really all that many people that I felt should have the ability to get ahold of me.

Also, I didn't feel like I should pay someone to let other people bother me whenever *they* felt like it.

I guess I just really dislike talking to others.

At least in person.

It's probably becasue I have this whistly voice that doesn't sound anything like a classical music-loving zombie overlord.

I have to be myself, after all.
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